'Is it just harmless teasing or a red flag?': 31-year-old husband won't stop making paternity jokes about his newborn with brown eyes despite his being blue, his 29-year-old wife insists he stop, he blames her for being "too sensitive"

Briana Viser • Writer and Editor

Sep 14, 2025 12:00 PM EDT

Parenting is like jumping into the realm of the unknown. You have a kid, and suddenly your life is flipped upside down. And it's not just about you and your child or children, it affects your relationship with everyone around you, especially your spouse. The protagonist in the story below is a new mom whose a little fed up of her husband's innocuous jokes. Her husband is blond with blue eyes, and their baby is brunette with brown eyes. Her husband keeps making jokes that he's not the father, to the point that his wife is in tears. She begs him to stop to no avail.

When does a joke become too far? And is any joke okay if someone slaps the guise of "joke" on top of hurtful or offensive words? In my experience, men really like to say something absolutely awful or out of pocket, and then just pretend like it's all fun and games by saying it was a joke. My advice: grow up. Jokes don't have to be said, everyone knows something is a joke because it's funny.

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Am I the ** for telling my husband to kip in the guest room after he kept “joking” our newborn isn’t his?

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If it was a joke, then she'd be laughing too. It's not a joke when someone on the other end is hurt or disrespected. Then that's just mean. Men tend to say something is a “joke” when they want to just turn others, but pretend like they didn't.
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